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You know you are in Thailand when ....
We update
When the footprints on the toilet seat are your own.
When you no longer stand in line, but goes straight past the queue and straight to checkout.
If you always press all the buttons on the elevator floor.
When it's really exciting to see if you manage to get into the elevator before anyone has gone out.
When you are willing to pay for a toilet that previously refused to use.
Once you accept that you have to stand in line to pull the cue-patch.
Once you accept that the repairman says that the car is destroyed and that it will cost lots of money to fix it, without knowing what is broken.
When you answer the phone by saying "hello" about 10 times in a row.
When you repeat your order about 10 times in a restaurant, yet there are only 4 things on the menu.
When you thought that a T-bone steak with rice is okay.
When you belive everything in the local newspaper.
When you drive the tractor with a cowboy hat in Thailand while drinking Laokao ......
When you look at it as an adventure when waiters repeat your order 4 times, but you get something completely different than what you have ordered.
When you are not surprised at all when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
When you think it is okay to wait six days on your laundry, even though you have paid 50% extra to get the same day.
When the taxi drivers know your address.
When you are proud owner of your own rice cooker.
When you shake your hands almost completely dry in 10 seconds after they washed before drying the rest of your pants.
Once you understand all that is written above.
When you automatically look to both sides several times before you cross the street.
When you do not care that a woman washing the toilets next to you when you take aleak and that she starting a conversation with you in Thai.
When you think it is ok to get a neck massage while you urinate.
When you go with fur hat and gloves in 33 degree heat.
When you thought that the small colored light around the television set is cool.
When you really think that the family of your wife like you.
When you think that blondes are exotic.
When you are sure that there is still room for one on your moped, even if there are 5 pieces + a pig on already.
When you speak broken English to your friends back home in England.
When you like Sum Tam with chicken feet or raw crabs.
When you buy one and a cigarette.
When you thought LaoKao is a good replacement for the single malt whiskey.
When you are not afraid to sit in jail for a couple of months.
When you think that it is attraktrivt with a face full of baby powder.
When you begin to miss the fat ladies with big tits.
When you think it's cool to have a one-baht in the ear.
When you go to work in suits and slippers.
When you have so much soda in your whiskey soda that does not change color.
When you drink beer with ice cubes.
When you talk to people with their mouths full of food, and smokes the same time.
When you squeeze pimples while you look in the mirror moped when you are waiting for the green light.
When you are watching an entire DVD movie in the shop window.
When you tell someone that is at 11 when it really is a quarter to 12
When you use a whistle when you park the car.
When you have fish sauce on your hamburger.
When you think it is quite commonplace to see a girl in mini skirt sitting sideways on a moped with a toe on the footrest while her makeup.
When you can sleep standing on the bus.
When you can have a bus ticket in the ear, and thought that it's really cool.
When you meet someone named "Steve" and you call him "Sateve"
When you laugh you to death of pee and fart jokes and the ones you do not understand.
When you find out that everything you own are copies.
When you think it's cool to have a long little finger nail.
When you cruise around on a Harley Road King with shorts and slippers.
When the thermometer is at 33 degrees and you go in long pants, long-sleeved sweater, gloves, hat and slippers.
When you're not grinning mockingly by-laws while they sit inside a bush with candles and "bayby powder" in search of the winning numbers in lotto.
When you stand up the first morning and burp turkish shotts for hours afterwards and think damn I've been at kaare's bar
When one stands up a couple of days later and the tooth brush, has suddenly seven toothbrushes
When the mosquito bites but no longer itches
When it is okay to compensate a lack of facial hair with makeup
When automatically takes for your wallet when you are stopped by police.
When you see a tiny dilapidated shack with walls, thin and full of trash outside, but with a shiny brand new 3.0 turbo diesel pickup truck parked outside ....... same owner.
When you stop to buy more beer, and one can not buy for one always makes the time it is closed for beer sales (it sold no alcohol from 12 midnight to 10AM and from 2PM to 5PM) Harald's note Amazing Thailand.
When you smile when you are called Pumpui (Thick)
When the old and middle-aged, more or less bald, 30-40-50 kg overweight men go around and let the ladies in snasne 20-years .....
When other Englishmen say to you that: My girlfriend is special ..... she is not like all the others!
When the neighbor's house is hot pink, the same color as the facial makeup of his wife ..
When the woman must come down 7 / 11 to buy lunch, because you can not tolerate the local cuisine ...
When the turban-clad Indian women in men's tailor shop will make to suit you, even if you have denied three times before and you go on the other side of the road
When the restaurant table, wiped the floor with a rag
When your favorite porn site on the net is closed
When the popcorn is sweetened instead of salt
When the cute checkout girl turns out to be a man
When all the neighboring tables drinking whiskey to the food
When they voluntarily release the ice in your beer
When you know you are in Thailand when you need to check that no chicks have adam apple
When it is so expensive for some with Thai wife that Tråndelag moonshine is replaced with Lao Kao.
When you have gone on a lot of ladies and are satisfied with what you see in the mirror.
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